


If I Loved You Less

by hehkhatea



Series: Widojest Week 2k20 [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Jane Austen Fusion, Alternate Universe - Regency, Bickering, F/M, Love Confessions, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:42:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25158703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hehkhatea/pseuds/hehkhatea
Summary: Jester Lavorre comes to terms that her matchmaking meddling may not have been for the best and Mister Widogast has a confession to make.A Jane Austen/Regency Period/Emma AU(Basically a rewrite of the proposal scene from Emma (2020))
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Series: Widojest Week 2k20 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1819591
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	If I Loved You Less

Jester Lavorre, beautiful, clever, and rich, with a comfortable home and happy deposition, seemed to have everything she wanted at her young age. She had friends who seemed more kin that acquaintance at this point, a doting mother, and a level of popularity that kept her name on the lips of every important person in the country. Most of all, Jester prided herself on her matchmaking skills. It was an art, really.

Yes, she had successfully matched Lady Vex’ahlia and Lord Percival together nearly a year ago and they were already expecting their first child but ever since then it’s been a disaster. For the life of her she can’t seem to get it right for her new friend, the young Veth. Not to mention Jester’s own lovelife had blown up in her face.

For weeks she had been keeping in contact with the fun and illusive Mister Tealeaf. He encouraged a part of Jester that was a bit unsavory, made her say things that are much better unsaid. If she was honest, they seemed perfect for each other, since they both valued a sense of mischief and a flare for the dramatics. But news of him running off and eloping had spread across Society like a tipped pitcher of wine.

Dejected, Jester took to walking around the grounds of her home. How could she be so wrong about someone? She knew she had a tendency to trust too easily, but trust went both ways and the more open she was the more likely she was to learn more about a person. More than anything, she was beginning to wonder if she was wrong about helping Veth. 

This whole time Jester had been teaching Veth the ins and outs of proper society, insisting that Veth be more frugal with her affections. Before Jester had intervened, Veth was thinking of marrying the local apothecary, practically throwing away her prospects! Ever since then Jester has been working on finding only the best for Veth. At the moment, the best option was-

“Jester!” 

Jester snapped out of her cloud of thoughts and turned to the voice calling her. Mister Widogast.

That’s where things got even more complicated. Mister Widogast has been a family friend for as long as Jester could remember. He was kind and considerate to Jester’s mother, and has been a confidant to Jester throughout this whole endeavor. Perhaps confidant was too generous of a word, since they tended to bicker more than consult one another, but nonetheless he was a dear friend. What he lacked in financial prospects he more than made up for in attractiveness and diligence to his work and studies. He had shown great kindness to Veth at the last ball, dancing with her when no one else would. Since that night, Veth has turned to thinking that Mister Widogast was a good and proper match.

Jester didn’t want to discourage her, didn’t want to disappoint Veth with another heartbreak, but there was something about the whole thing that seemed wrong. She couldn’t place it, for the life of her.

Mister Widogast was approaching Jester, jogging to catch up with her. Red strands of his hair were coming out of the tie he had done on the back of his head. His strong jawline was framed by his high collar. Jester felt a bit of heat rise from her stomach to her chest. What was the matter with her?

Once he had arrived, Mister Widogast bowed his head a little in greeting. Jester acknowledged it by lowering herself to a quick curtsy. 

“I came as soon as I heard the news.” Mister Widogast started. “Jester, I’m so sorry.”

Jester shook her head, not wanting to cry at her foolishness. “It’s okay, Mister Widogast. I can admit that I was wrong.” Jester was sure that Mister Widogast was still angry with her, they had a verbal row not long ago about her meddling with Veth’s marriage prospects. Mister Widogast was under the impression that Veth would be better off with Mister Brenatto, the apothecary.

“Time will heal this wound, Jester, I’m sure of it.” Mister Widogast insisted. “I have no doubt that Mister Tealeaf will live a miserable existence without you.”

Mister Widogast rarely spoke this strongly, Jester couldn’t help but be taken aback.

“That’s very nice of you to say,” Jester twisted one of the artful curls by her temple. “But I was really mean, and I said hurtful things and acted awful to people that didn’t deserve it. I think I’ll always be sorry about that but I’m not sorry that I met Mister Tealeaf. I think I’ve learned a lot from this.”

Now it was Mister Widogast’s turn to look shocked, but it was subtle and he then nodded in agreement. He seemed almost proud to hear Jester say that. She turned away from him, not wanting the sudden flush on her cheeks to be evident.

“He did not deserve the time he took from you,” Mister Widogast continued, his voice rising in frustration. “And now he goes about unpunished for his wrongdoings. Everything fell into place for him and everyone is more than willing to forgive him for the sake of entertainment!”

Jester turned back to him, a small smile forming on her lips. “You sound jealous.” She remarked.

“Perhaps I am.” Mister Widogast stared, his intense blue eyes piercing into Jester’s. “In many respects I envy how easy he went about his life, how easy good fortune came to him, but there is one thing I envy more than anything…”

Jester felt her breath stop for a moment. She didn’t want to admit to herself what Mister Widogast could be referring to. They stood at least three feet from each other but it felt as if he was right next to her, his looks and word penetrated her soul. She stayed quiet, hoping that the whole thing would get dropped completely.

“Are you not curious as to what I mean, Jester?” Mister Widogast asked, earnestly. “Yes, you certainly have come a long way and now refuse to goad me with questioning. But I refuse to stand by, though I might regret-”

“Don’t,” Jester pleated. Deep down, she had a hunch as to what Mister Widogast wanted to say, but the denial outweighed everything else. Everything else was going wrong, she couldn’t have this one constant be turned around as well.

Mister Widogast sighed and walked a few paces away. Tucking loose pieces of hair behind his ear. Jester went to him and saw the hint of tears beginning to form in his eyes.

“Hey,” Jester assured him. “If you want to talk to me, I will listen! You’re one of my best friends, and you were my friend when I didn’t deserve a friend! You-”

Mister Widogast grabbed Jester’s hands, not with over force but with a sense of desperation.

“Jester,” Mister Widogast sounded ready to cry. “I treasure the friendship we have, and I will gladly stand by if you wish me to, but I can’t-” He started to hem and haw a bit, fumbling on his own words. “Your friendship is very dear to me,  _ you  _ are very dear to me. And if I was better and expressing how I feel… But they are too intense. If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more… I know that by all means I am at the bottom of your list of prospects. I lecture you, I travel too much and I always smell of horse, and I act too reserved, but you have always accepted me. Gods know I’ve done little to show my affections for you but you understand what I mean, don’t you? You…”

Jester’s brain… broke. She couldn’t believe it! Mister Widogast was in love with  _ her _ !  _ Her _ ! She ought to be elated, the way he was looking at her was nothing short of love.

His hand reached out to her, to her face. His coarse, soot ingrained fingertips grazed over her warmed cheeks with such gentleness. Gods, Jester might be in love with him too. If being in love with him meant that he would look at her with such longing…

“Would you marry me?” Mister Widogast said so softly, but so fervently. He meant it, he truly meant it. But, wait-

Flabbergasted, Jester gasped. “But-but! What about Veth?!”

“Veth?” Mister Widogast’s pleading gaze turned to confusion. “Jester what are you-”

“Oh, Traveller, I-” Jester stomped the ground. “I can’t marry you! You’re supposed to love Veth! She loves you and you’ve been so nice to her and she talks about how handsome you are and even you asked me if she was engaged-”

“To Yeza Brenatto!” Mister Widogast interjected, his voice rising to an incredulous tone. “She told you as much, did she not? You had encouraged her-”

“Gods!” Jester rubbed her tear stained cheeks in frustration. Mister Widogast gave Jester his handkerchief to dry her eyes. “I can’t break her heart again!”

Mister Widogast paced in front of her, thinking and talking to himself until he came to a certain conclusion.

“I’ll go to Yeza,” Mister Widogast decided. “I’ll implore him to give Veth another chance. I’m sure that he still loves her and that if he asks her again-”

Jester knew what had to happen. She had to deign herself to a proper admission of guilt and wrongdoing.

“No,” Jester groaned, blowing her nose. “No! I should go… I have to go to Yeza. It’s all my fault, I have to do it.”

Mister Widogast looked at her agog for a second, but then he nodded.

It was one thing to right a wrong for Veth’s sake but… what did it mean for her to do it? Mister Widogast had just asked her to marry him, and now she was giving up her matchmaking plans. She wasn’t just doing it because it was the right thing to do, she was doing it because she wanted to marry Mister Widogast.

Sighing, Jester handed back his soiled handkerchief. His hand held onto hers, and for a moment she thought she should remove it, but she didn’t really want to. She knew she should rush to Yeza, but looking in Mister Widogast’s deep and glossy blue eyes-

Jester lifted herself to her tiptoes and kissed Mister Widogast, and oh was she ever glad for his receptiveness. His arm wrapped around her tightly, pressing her curved body against his lean one. He kissed so sweetly and sincerely, which then turned hot and sensual.

Mister Widogast removed his lips from hers and loosened his hold on Jester but did not go away. “Good lord, we need a chaperone.” He huffed with laughter. Jester laughed as well, her forehead pressed against his.

“Jester,” Mister Widogast whispered.

“Yes?”

“Will you call me Caleb from now on? I cannot bear the formality at this point.”

Jester giggled. “Of course I will!” She kissed him again and again. Jester then lowered herself back to the ground, her feet aching from holding herself up.

“Cayleb,” Jester said, experimentally.

“Yes?” Caleb responded, his eyes closing contently for a moment.

“When I get back from Yeza’s, and when I make things right with Veth? I’m going to marry you.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was a challenge for me to write, mostly because I was starting to write it fully with similar language to Austen when I realized that Jester sounded WAY too proper and it just didn't feel write. I also battled with trying to write something original rather than a rewrite but it was much too late to think about and nothing was working out for me. Perhaps if people are interested in reading that AU i'll make more time for it! Shoot me comment! Anyway, I hoped yall liked it!
> 
> I was not COMPLETELY inspired by @tyrtato's regency inspired piece for dressed up (on twitter) but it is amazing and i definitely couldn't stop thinking about it while i was writing it. please check it out if you havent already seen it


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